DEUCE Community Update: August 2024
American psychologist Abraham Maslow was best known for creating his theory, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The theory is often simplified with a two-dimensional pyramid graphic displaying basic human needs in the following order: physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization.
Self-actualization comprises the tip of the pyramid. The term self-actualization may feel lofty or even nebulous. What does it mean?
I was having a conversation with a mentor recently. She said that,
“Self-actualizing is earning a piece of who you are.’’
Earning is a particularly active verb. It implies sweat equity in the process of becoming. I particularly like her definition because, in my experience, the amount we grow is directly proportional to the amount of painful work we are willing to do.
I dislike the pyramid depiction of Maslow’s theory because it implies a progressive order in which each preceding need must be fulfilled to unlock the next. Maslow articulated that his framework is fluid, meaning different human needs can be present and pursued simultaneously. The argument is often made that without all other needs being fulfilled, one can not reach self-actualization.
I strongly disagree with this view. Self-actualization largely depends on challenge, struggle, and dissatisfaction. While this can happen with all needs satisfied, my experience has been that the greatest transformations of my life occurred when I had the least amount of needs fulfilled.
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The hardest times in my life were when I was on the streets and in prison. Often here, I didn’t have my full spectrum of basic physical needs covered. I certainly did not have safety, love, or self-esteem. Realizing that I was in a hard place and didn’t like who I was served as the most powerful possible catalyst for change. I made the biggest step towards becoming myself as a result of an extreme lack of fulfillment.
I’m not arguing for the artificial creation of hardship or that humans be denied love and safety. However, if we don’t lean into what makes us uncomfortable, we will never know ourselves or realize our potential.
At DEUCE, we ask, ‘What are you becoming?’ Not ‘What do you think you’ll become?’
Here, too, there is the implication of something active. Personal transformation must happen in the trenches. You can’t think yourself into changing; you’ve got to get your hands dirty and earn a few scars in the process.
Getting out of prison is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was that much harder because I did it alone.
A huge reason that our program at DEUCE Community is built on mentorship is so that others don’t have to traverse this path by themselves.
You might be asking what it feels like to get out of prison. For me, it was terrifying and lonely, just like prison. However, prison was full of people just like me who understood me. Even if we did not acknowledge our experience to one another, there was an immense amount of comfort in being around people like me.
When I was released, I was a pariah. No one understood me or wanted to associate with me. I could almost hear a clock ticking, counting down my return to prison. I was so institutionalized that even the most basic interactions were extremely difficult for me.
Six years and some change out, I’m still working through this. Often, I feel that those who best understand me and can give me perspective are those who have fought the same battles I have.
That is why our peer mentorship program never ends. All students who depart the program are offered continued contact and support.
One of the hardest parts of the human experience is being alone.
Once we have felt what it is like to be completely engulfed in loneliness without any hope of salvation- but somehow managed to find it- we feel a strong pull to embrace others who have been there.
If you would like to get involved with our alumni support network or any of the programs at DEUCE Community, contact campbell@deucegym.com.
Every Friday at 5:00 p.m. | Sober Workout with Coach Joe @ 5:00 PM 110 Lincoln Blvd
Every Saturday at 1:00 p.m. | Community Workout at DEUCE Gym @ 110 Lincoln Blvd, email campbell@deucecommunity.org
Every Last Thursday of the Month | Community Dinner at 2603 23rd Street, Santa Monica, email joseph@deucegym.com to RSVP
Every Last Saturday of the Month | Street Cleanup at 12:00 PM DEUCE Gym 110 Lincoln Blvd
The Amazon Prime packages that show up on the porch of the DEUCE Community House mean more to these guys than you can possibly imagine. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.